by: tracy sestili
Before I met my husband (and it wasn’t though speed dating) a friend of mine talked me into signing up for a speed dating session. I didn’t know that the number of slots was limited, so as it turned out I got in, but she didn’t and I had to go it alone. I wasn’t even really looking for love or a date, I was just doing it to hang out with my friend and now it was backfiring.
As it turned out, I quickly learned that speed dating can be the longest or shortest three minutes of your life. Each person was paired with someone and when the bell rang after three minutes, you moved to the next eligible bachelor. Let’s face it, looks matter when you only have three minutes. So if you sat down across from someone who you thought was stone ugly, it made it the longest three minutes of your life. Contrary, if you sat down across from someone who was hot, then it suddenly became the shortest three minutes of your life and left you begging for more time.
At the end you checked off whether you wanted to be just friends, maintain a business relationship, or were interested in something more. The group that organized it would match everything up and you would get a summary email of your rejection or adoration.
For me, I only met one guy who I was mildly interested in, but I could have gone either way. At the end, he was interested in me and decided not to wait for the match makers to send out the results and broke the rules and asked for my phone number. Reluctantly I gave him my email instead and said that was the best way to contact me. Last thing I needed was to have to screen unwanted calls.
After a couple of emails trying to set up the first date I learned that he was not entirely single but had just separated from his wife. He also was not in the age range of twenty-five to thirty-five, but rather forty-five and was hoping to meet a younger woman, which I was. Right then and there I thought how can I trust a man who lied to me in the first three minutes of meeting him? He not only had one strike, but two and I was only semi-attracted to him. I decided at the last minute to bow out of the date and cut off all contact. I didn’t need dishonesty in my life or a partner and I certainly have no regrets.
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